Tuesday, December 20, 2011

WELCOME, EMMANUEL!


CHRISTMAS MUSINGS

Last Sunday we lit the fourth Advent candle in anticipation of Jesus’ birth.  This Sunday we celebrate Christmas.  Many churches with multiple services are curtailing their services to allow families to spend more time together.

As for us, our Christmas menus are pretty well set.  Yes, I said “menus.” We have a Christmas Eve get together, one on Christmas Day, and another on the day after Christmas.  We’ve even purchased most of our presents!

Yet my mind keeps coming back to the Christmas story.  This year I find myself astounded at the intricacy of God’s plan.  Somehow God “manages” to accomplish His purpose in bringing Jesus, the Christ, to earth in a way that meets the needs of each one of His servants and brings them to rely on Him more fully.

Let’s just look at Mary.  Mary, a fifteen year old girl, receives the puzzling announcement that the Spirit of the Lord would overshadow her and she would become pregnant with the Christ child.  While she willing accepts the burden God places on her, her mind must have been racing.  How was she to explain this to her family, to her fiance, Joseph, to her neighbors?  Would they believe her when she said she had not been unfaithful to her marriage vows (Remember that Joseph originally planned to divorce her, the only way to break their relationship apart from death)?

Not so coincidentally, Mary has an older cousin in another town that just became pregnant through special divine intervention.  Perplexed, and needing to get out of town for a while so she can figure out what to do, she goes to visit her cousin, Elizabeth.  When she arrives, Elizabeth’s son, who we will later call John the Baptist, does his first prophetic act while still a six month old fetus, three months before he was born!  John, the fetus, acknowledges Jesus, also a fetus, as the Christ!

Elizabeth is filled with the Holy Spirit and recognizes her privilege in receiving the mother of the Messiah as the mother of the prophet.  Mary is then filled with the Spirit and sings the song we know as the Magnificat.  She stays with her cousin three months, or until she delivers, then returns home.

Joseph, meanwhile, is wrestling with his situation.  Mary either tells him before she leaves town, or immediately on her return.  Before long she will begin to show and he will either have to respond as a betrayed husband, by either having her stoned or divorcing her, or go through with the marriage, acknowledging Mary’s child as his own.  In his case, God has an angel deliver him a message while he sleeps.

Thus a young couple is encouraged in their faith, and an older woman in her role in bringing in the Kingdom of God while God accomplishes His purpose of bringing Jesus to earth.

But the question remains: Why should God care about their feelings?  Can’t He accomplish His plan without regard to their feelings?

I suppose He could.  But then He wouldn’t be the God we worship, the God who revealed Himself as “Emmanuel,” God with us.  God walks with us, alongside us, in the path He gives us, both accomplishing His ultimate purpose through us and encouraging us in our growing trust in Him along the way.

Welcome, Emmanuel!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Fellowship of Presbyterians: Essential Tenets

One of this week's highlights was the long awaited draft Theology and Polity documents of the Fellowship of Presbyterians (available here: http://www.fellowship-pres.org/documents/). I quote the Essential Tenets portion of the Theology document at length, as it is an excellent introduction to the thinking of the Reformed family of Christians, both theologically and pastorally.


ESSENTIAL TENETS

Presbyterians have been of two minds about essential tenets.” We recognize that some truths of the gospel are central and foundational, and should be sincerely received and adopted by all who are called to ordered ministries in the church. Yet we also recognize the danger in reducing the truth of the gospel to propositions that demand assent.

Essential tenets are tied to the teaching of the confessions as reliable expositions of scripture. The PCUSA’s “Foundations of Presbyterian Polity” identifies central affirmations of the confessions (F-2.03 through 2.05). These affirmations call out for explication, not as “another confession”, but as indispensable indicators of confessional convictions about what Scripture leads us to believe and do. Essential tenets do not replace the confessions, but rather witness to the confessions’ common core.

In articulating the essential tenets of our faith, we recognize our oneness with Christians of many different traditions. Although we speak our shared faith with a Reformed accent, we do not claim that this is the only way to speak. The worldwide Reformed communion is our family, and the Reformed tradition is our tradition. For that reason in this document we set out what we understand as a particularly Reformed way of stating what Christians everywhere believe.

The great purpose toward which each human life is drawn is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever. The church glorifies God by recognizing and naming his glory, which is the manifestation and revelation of his own nature. Each of us enjoys God by being so united with Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit as to become a participant in that divine nature, transformed from one degree of glory to another and escorted by Christ into the loving communion of the Trinity. So we confess our faith not as a matter of dispassionate intellectual assent, but rather as an act by which we give God glory and announce our membership in the body of Christ.

I. God’s Word: The Sole Authority for Our Confession

The clearest declaration of God’s glory is found in his Word, both incarnate and written. The Son eternally proceeds from the Father as his Word, the full expression of the Father’s nature, and since in the incarnation the Word became flesh all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are given to his disciples. The written Word grants us those treasures, proclaims the saving gospel of Jesus Christ, and graciously teaches all that is necessary for faith and life. We glorify God by recognizing and receiving his authoritative self-revelation, both in the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments and also in the incarnation of God the son. We affirm that the Holy Spirit overshadowed the virgin Mary so that she would conceive a son, and that he also inspired the writing and preservation of the Scriptures. The Holy Spirit testifies to the authority of God’s word and illumines our hearts and minds so that we might receive both the scriptures and Christ himself aright.

We confess that “God alone is Lord of the conscience,” but this freedom is for the purpose of allowing us to be subject always and primarily to God’s Word. The Spirit will never prompt our conscience to conclusions that are at odds with the Scriptures that he has inspired. The revelation of the incarnate Word does not minimize, qualify, or set aside the authority of the written Word. We are happy to confess ourselves captive to the Word of God, not just individually, but also as members of a community of faith, extending through time and around the globe. In particular, we join with other members of the Presbyterian and Reformed community to affirm the secondary authority of the Book of Confessions as a faithful exposition of the Word of God.

II. Trinity and Incarnation: The Two Central Christian Mysteries

A. Trinity
With Christians everywhere, we worship the only true God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - who is both one essence and three persons. In his essence, God is infinite, eternal, immutable, impassible, and ineffable. He cannot be divided against himself, nor is he becoming more than he has been, since there is no potential or becoming in him. He is the source of all goodness, all truth and all beauty, of all love and all life, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. The three persons are consubstantial with one another, being both coeternal, and coequal, such that there are not three gods, nor are there three parts of God, but rather three persons or three relations within the one Godhead. The Son is eternally begotten from the Father, and the Spirit proceeds eternally from the Father and the Son. All three persons are worthy of worship and praise.

As a loving communion of three persons, God has no need of anyone or anything beyond himself in order to be Love. Yet in grace this Triune God is the one Creator of all things. The Father is the Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible; the Son is the one by whom all things were made; the Spirit is the Lord and giver of life. The ongoing act of creation is further manifested in God’s gracious sovereignty and providence, maintaining the existence of the world and all living creatures for the sake of his own glory. He is the Holy One, the ground of all being, whose glory is so great that for us to see him is to die. Yet he has made the creation to reflect his glory, and he has made us in his own image, with a unique desire to know him and a capacity for relationship with him. Since our God is a consuming fire whom we in our sin cannot safely approach, he has approached us in the person of Jesus Christ.

B. Incarnation
This is the second great mystery of the Christian faith, affirmed by all Christians everywhere: that Jesus Christ is both truly God and truly human. As to his divinity, he
is the Son, the second person of the Trinity, being of one substance with the Father; as to his humanity, he is like us in every way but sin, of one substance with us, like us in having both a human soul and a human body. As to his divinity, he is eternally begotten of the Father; as to his humanity, he is born of the virgin Mary, conceived by the Holy Spirit. as to his divinity, his glory fills heaven and earth; as to his humanity, his glory is shown in the form of a suffering servant, most clearly when he is lifted up on the cross.

We confess the mystery of his two natures, divine and human, in one person. We reject any understanding of the communication of attributes that must result in a blending of the two natures such that Jesus Christ is neither truly God nor truly human. We insist upon sufficient distinction between the two natures to preserve the truth of the incarnation, that Jesus Christ is indeed Immanuel, God-with-us, not one who used to be God, nor one who has merely been sent from God. Rather, in his coming we have seen God’s glory, for Jesus is the exact imprint of God’s very being and in him the fullness of God was pleased to dwell. so we confess that the divinity of the son is in no way impaired, limited, or changed by his gracious act of assuming a human nature, and that his true humanity is in no way undermined by his continued divinity. This is a mystery that we cannot explain, but we affirm it with joy and confidence.

We further confess that the mystery of the incarnation is ongoing, for the risen Jesus has ascended to the Father in the body and remains, now and everlastingly, truly human. he is locally present at the right hand of the Father. When we are promised that one day we will see him face to face, we acknowledge that it is the face of Jesus of Nazareth we will someday see. The one who was born of Mary, died at Calvary, and walked with disciples to Emmaus is the same Jesus Christ who is now ascended and whom each of us will one day know fully, even as he already knows us.

III. Essentials of the Reformed Tradition

A. God’s grace in Christ
God declared that the world he created was good and that human beings, made in his own image, were very good. We therefore confess that the present disordered state of the world, in which we and all things are subject to misery and to evil, is not God’s doing, but is rather a result of humanity’s free, sinful rebellion against God’s will. God created human beings from the dust of the earth and his own breath, to be mediators between God and his creation, offering creation’s praise to God, channeling God’s grace to the creation. Since the fall our natural tendency is to abuse and exploit the creation, preferring evil to goodness. God also created human beings to mediate his grace to one another, so that our social relationships would strengthen our ability to serve and obey him. Since the fall, our natural tendency is to engage in relationships of tyranny and injustice with one another, in which power is used not to protect and serve but to demean. God further created human beings with the capacity for relationship with him, the ability to worship him in love and obey him by living holy lives. since the fall, our natural tendency is to hate both God and our neighbor, to worship idols of our own devising rather than the one true God.

As a result of sin, human life is poisoned by everlasting death. No part of human life is untouched by sin. Our desires are no longer trustworthy guides to goodness, and what seems natural to us no longer corresponds to God’s design. We are not merely wounded in our sin; we are dead, unable to save ourselves. Apart from God’s initiative, salvation is not possible for us. Our only hope is God’s grace. We discover in Scripture that this is a great hope, for our God is the one whose mercy is from everlasting to everlasting. Already in the creation of the world, we see God’s character as gracious love, for the creation adds nothing to God’s own life, or love, or joy. We are not necessary to God. His love for us is free.

This grace does not end when we turn to sin. Although we are each deserving of God’s eternal condemnation, the eternal son assumed our human nature, joining us in our misery and offering himself on the cross in order to free us from slavery to death and sin and to make us new creations. All humanity participates in the fall into sin because of our union with each other; we participate in redemption because of our union with Christ. The Holy Spirit unites us to Christ’s humanity in baptism, so that his sacrifice, his victory, and his resurrection life might become ours. In union with Christ through the power of the Spirit we are brought into right relation with the Father, who receives us as his adopted children.

Jesus Christ is the only way to this adoption, the sole path by which sinners become children of God, for he is the only-begotten Son, and it is only in union with him that a believer is able to know God as Father. Jesus Christ is the only source of truth about the Triune God whom each of us is created to know, for only he is the Truth, only he has seen the Father, and only he can make the Father known. Only Jesus Christ is the new life that is offered, for he is the bread from heaven and the fountain of living water, the one by whom all things were made, in whom all things hold together, and through whom the life-giving spirit enters into the world. The exclusivity of these claims establishes that God’s love is not impersonal, but a particular and intimate love in which each individual child of God is called by name and known as precious; that God’s love is not only acceptance, but a transforming and effective love in which his image within us is restored so that we are capable of holy living.

B. Election for salvation and service
The call of God to the individual Christian is not merely an invitation that each person may accept or reject by his or her own free will. Having lost true freedom of will in the fall, we confess that we are incapable of turning toward God of our own volition. God chooses us for himself in grace before the foundation of the world, not because of any merit on our part, but only because of his love and mercy. Each of us is chosen in Christ, who is eternally appointed to be head of the body of the elect, our brother and our high priest. He is the one who is bone of our bone, flesh of our flesh, our divine helper who is also our bridegroom, sharing our human nature so that we may see his glory. We who receive him and believe in his name do so not by our own will or wisdom, but because his glory compels us irresistibly to turn toward him. By his enticing call on our lives, Jesus enlightens our minds, softens our hearts, and renews our wills, restoring the freedom that we lost in the fall.

We are all sinners who fall short of God’s glory, and we all deserve God’s judgment. apart from the saving work of Jesus Christ, we are incapable of being in God’s presence, incapable of bearing the weight of his glory. We rejoice that Jesus Christ offers us safe conduct into the heart of God’s consuming and purifying fire, shielding us with his perfect humanity and transforming us by his divine power. Having received such grace, we extend grace to others.

We are not elect for our own benefit alone. God gathers his covenant community to be an instrument of his saving purpose. Through the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, the image of God is being restored in us, so that we may be witnesses of God’s saving presence to those who are lost. The spirit gathers us in a community that is built up and equipped to be light, salt, and yeast in the world. Christ sends us into the world to make disciples of all nations, baptizing in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that Christ has commanded us. We are now in service to God’s plan for the fullness of time, made known to us in Christ: uniting all things in heaven and earth to himself. To this end, we not only preach the gospel, but we also care for the natural world, claim all areas of culture in the name of Jesus, serve the poor, feed the hungry, visit the prisoner, and defend the helpless.

C. Covenant life in the church
We are elect in Christ to become members of the community of the new covenant. This covenant, which God himself guarantees, unites us to God and to one another. already in the creation, we discover that we are made to live in relationships to others, male and female, created together in God’s image. In Christ, we are adopted into the family of God and find our new identity as brothers and sisters of one another, since we now share one Father. Our faith requires our active participation in that covenant community.

Jesus prays that his followers will all be one, and so we both pray and work for the union of the church throughout the world. Even where institutional unity does not seem possible, we are bound to other Christians as our brothers and sisters. In Christ the dividing wall of hostility created by nationality, ethnicity, gender, race and language differences is brought down. God created people so that the rich variety of his wisdom might be reflected in the rich variety of human beings, and the church must already now begin to reflect the eschatological reality of people from every tribe, and tongue and nation bringing the treasures of their kingdoms into the new city of God.

Within the covenant community of the church, God’s grace is extended through the preaching of the word, the administration of the sacraments, and the faithful practice of mutual discipline. First, through the work of the Holy Spirit, the word proclaimed may indeed become God’s address to us. The Spirit’s illuminating work is necessary both for the one who preaches and for those who listen. Second, the sacraments of baptism and the lord’s supper are signs that are linked to the things signified, sealing to us the promises of Jesus and uniting us to his cleansing and nourishing life. In the baptism of infants, we confess our confidence in God’s prevenient grace, that a baby who cannot turn to God is nonetheless claimed as a member of the covenant community, a child of God, cleansed by grace and sealed by the spirit; in the baptism of adults, we confess our confidence that God’s grace can make us new creations at any stage of our lives. In the Lord’s Supper, we confess that as we eat the bread and share one cup the Spirit unites us to the ascended Christ, joining our humanity to his humanity, so that his resurrection life may nourish, strengthen and transform us. Third, the community of the Church practices discipline in order to help one another along the path to new life, speaking the truth in love to one another, bearing one another’s burdens, and offering to one another the grace of Christ.

D. Faithful stewardship of all of life
The ministries of the church reflect the three-fold office of Christ as prophet, priest and king. We affirm that men and women alike are called to all the ministries of the Church. Our participation in the three-fold office of Christ extends beyond the Church and into the world. Every Christian is called to a prophetic life, proclaiming the good news to the world and enacting that good news. Every Christian is called to extend the lordship of Christ to every corner of the world. And every Christian is called to participate in Christ’s priestly, mediatorial work, sharing in the suffering of the world in ways that extend God’s blessing and offering intercession to God on behalf of the world. We are equipped to share in these offices by the Holy Spirit, who conforms us to the pattern of Christ’s life.

Jesus teaches us that we are to love the lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our mind. There is no part of human life that is off limits to the sanctifying claims of God. We reject the claim that love of any sort is self-justifying and accept that all our affections and desires must be brought under God’s authority. We reject the claim that human souls are unaffected by the fall and remain naturally inclined to God and accept that soul and body alike must be cleansed and purified in order to love God properly. We reject the claim that the life of the mind is independent from faith and accept that unless we believe we cannot properly understand either God or the world around us. Historically, the Presbyterian tradition has been especially called to explore what it is to love God with all our minds, being committed to the on-going project of Christian education and study at all levels of Christian life.

E. Living in obedience to the Word of God
Progress in holiness is an expected response of gratitude to the grace of God, which is initiated, sustained and fulfilled by the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit. The
first response of gratitude is prayer, and the daily discipline of prayer – both individually and together – should mark the Christian life. The life of prayer includes praise to God for his nature and works, intercession for the needs of those we know and for the needs of the world, and sincere confession of our sin. As we practice the discipline of regular self-examination and confession, we are especially guided by the ten commandments. We therefore hold one another accountable to:

1. worship God alone, living all of life to his glory, renouncing all idolatry and all inordinate loves that might lead us to trust in any other help;

2. worship God in humility, being reticent in either describing or picturing God, recognizing that right worship is best supported not by our own innovative practices but through the living preaching of the word and the faithful administration of the sacraments;

3. eliminate from both speech and thought any blasphemy, irreverence, or impurity;

4. observe Sunday as a day of worship and rest, being faithful in gathering with the people of God;

5. give honor toward those set in authority over us and practice mutual submission within the community of the church;

6. eradicate a spirit of anger, resentment, violence, or bitterness, and instead cultivate a spirit of gentleness, kindness, peace, and love;

7. maintain chastity in thought and deed, being faithful within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman as established by God at the creation or embracing a celibate life as established by Jesus in the new covenant;

8. practice right stewardship of the goods we have been given, showing charity to those in need and offering generous support of the Church and its ministries;

9. pursue truth, even when such pursuit is costly, and defend truth when it is challenged, recognizing that truth is in order to goodness and that its preservation matters;

10. resist the pull of envy, greed and acquisition, and instead cultivate a spirit of contentment with the gifts God has given us.

In Jesus Christ we see the perfect expression of God’s holy will for human beings offered to God in our place. His holy life must now become our holy life. In Christ,
God’s will is now written on our hearts, and we look for- ward to the day when we will be so confirmed in holiness that we will no longer be able to sin. As the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, Jesus leads us along the path of life toward that goal, bringing us into ever deeper intimacy with the Triune God, in whose presence is fullness of joy.






Monday, December 5, 2011

It's about the Students!

What do a church planter with a ministry of bridge building and reconciliation, a lifetime church planter and re-builder, a Stephen minister, a classical school founder and teacher, and a couple who run three training centers for home school parents have in common? Answer: Oxford Graduate School.

I spent a delightful evening last Thursday with a few OGS graduates. 
If you ask Leon Messerlian a question about Armenian history, be prepared for a thorough answer!  He is proud of his Armenian descent and of his Orthodox faith.  Leon found the inspiration to start a classical academy in Gainesville, GA while studying at OGS, and currently serves on our Board of Regents.

He met his friend and traveling companion, Bob Page, while studying at Oxford.  However, they only discovered they were neighbors at their graduation.  Since then, Bob and Lee have become fast friends. 

Bob found the inspiration to start a Stephen ministry in his local church through his studies at OGS.  Stephen ministers embody the following core values:

  • Incarnational theology
  • Ministry as the privilege and responsibility of all God's people
  • Empowering those we serve to get excellent results
  • Personal humility
  • Organizational stability
  • Positive work environment

Bob also serves as the head of the Alumni Association.  Since he took the pictures, Bob isn't in any but the group picture (see "Personal Humility" above).  Both Bob and Lee earned their doctorates at OGS.

Dr. David Anderson is the founding pastor of Bridgeway Community Church.  Located in Columbia, Maryland, Bridgeway is a non-denominational, multicultural church led by founding pastor and author on race relations, Dr. David Anderson. With over 2,500 people attending each week, Bridgeway uses the creative arts and practical Christian teaching to reach people, no matter where they are on their spiritual journey.

In addition to pastoring the church, Dr. Anderson  hosts a radio talk show on WABA, 105.1 FM, in Washington, D.C.  He has also published five books, one each by Zondervan and Baker, and three by InterVarsity Press.  His most recent book embodies the theme of his ministry of reconciliation: I Forgrace You: Doing Good to Those Who Have Hurt You.  In it, "David Anderson shows us how we can extend extraordinary goodness to bless those who have hurt us. He presents the radical concept of "forgraceness": grace beyond forgiveness. God empowers us not only to pardon real-life hurts, but to seek the good of others. When this happens, our relationships can experience amazing transformation and redemptive healing. But we can't do it on our own. We need God's strength to take us to the next level. With God's help, we can offer true grace beyond forgiveness."

Hoyt Johnson is a lifelong church planter and rebuilder, and the first signer of the "the Book." Graduating in 1984, Dr. Johnson is Oxford's first graduate.  He attended OGS because he wanted training in doing primary research, and received the added benefit of his first interdenominational study experience.

Throughout his career, Dr. Johnson started three churches in Florida.  Then, when he hoped to retire, he received a call to rebuild a church in East Point, Georgia.  Blessed with a multicultural ministry, Dr. Johnson  tells his friends and the faculty at Atlanta Christian College just down the road they don't have to get on a plane to have a crosscultural experience.  They can just drive a mile down the road to his church!

The most recent graduate present, Sherry Camp received her Master's degree at Oxford in 2010.  She and her husband, Dan, run three Veritas Classical Schools in the Metro Atlanta area.  "Veritas Classical Schools offers home schooling families a unique complement to their home study programs with an emphasis on a classical Christian model of education. Veritas Classical Schools function in the role of tutor, assisting parents in their educational roles. Each student attends Veritas one day per week during the school year according to the child's age group."



I was excited to see how these world changers were using their gifts and callings to make a difference in their part of the world: Three educators, one compassionate minister, and two multicultural pastors and church planters.  At the end of the day, it's about the difference our students can make.




Monday, October 31, 2011

Shall we Divorce for Any Reason?


Shall We Divorce for Any Reason?
Marriage, Divorce, and Other Alternatives: A (non-explicit) Biblical Primer on Human Sexuality

INTRO:
You need to know a couple of things about me:
1)      I’m divorced and remarried.  God brought me to this church for healing while I was going through my divorce and recovery.
2)     I am a theologian and college professor by trade. My lectures sometimes feel like sermons, and my sermons like lectures.  I will be doing theology on the basis of the Bible verses in your bulletins, without doing a full exposition of each passage.  That would take more time than we have.

Why this topic?  The good news is that divorce rates are no longer growing.  They are actually declining.  The bad news?  Divorce rates are declining because more people are choosing to not get married.  They either live together without benefit of marriage, and raise their children in this kind of home, or women find themselves raising children on their own, often by choice.

In the cover story of the November Atlantic magazine, Kate Bolick declares her liberation from marriage: “It’s time to embrace new ideas about romance and family—and to acknowledge the end of ‘traditional’ marriage as society’s highest ideal.”
……..
Kate goes back to speak to younger women today, and is appalled by what she finds among 20-somethings:
Most of them said that though they’d had a lot of sex, none of it was particularly sensual or exciting. It appears the erotic promises of the 1960s sexual revolution have run aground on the shoals of changing sex ratios, where young women and men come together in fumbling, drunken couplings fueled less by lust than by a vague sense of social conformity.
What caused the “de-eroticization of sex,” she wonders.
Who exactly are the new enemies of Eros?
Sex has been divorced from meaning. Men are not being raised to be good family men, and women are not being raised to appreciate good family men. And men are failing to become the kind of men women want. Porn is available for all as a substitute for life.
(Maggie Gallagher, “The New Singleness.” Public Discourse: Ethics, Law and the Common Good. http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2011/10/4164. October 20, 2011)

So Kate chooses to celebrate this state of affairs and the women who band together to raise their children without men in a new form of matriarchy.

Is that the answer?

God’s Original Design
Gen 1:26-29: Male and Female Reflect Together the Image of the Triune God
26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
 male and female he created them.
28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth."
ESV

Gen 2:18, 23-25: Marriage as a Strategic Alliance and a One Flesh Relationship
18  Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."
23  Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." 24  Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25  And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
ESV

Shall we divorce for any reason?
Mal 2:13-16: Divorce as violence.  God is our witness
13 And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14  But you say, "Why does he not?" Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15  Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking?  Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16 "For the man who hates and divorces, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless."
ESV

Matt 19:3-12: Shall we divorce for any reason? Not so fast!
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" 4 He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,  5 and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh'?  6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."  7 They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?" 8 He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  9  And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."
ESV

Romans 7:1-3: Marriage is designed to last until one partner dies
1  Or do you not know, brothers--for I am speaking to those who know the law--that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? 2  For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. 3  Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.
ESV

1 Corinthians 7:10-15: What if one partner refuses to live in covenant relationship?
10  To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband  11  (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. 12  To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13  If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14  For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15  But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
ESV

1)     Marriage Defined
a.      Covenant before God
                                                              i.      Ordained by God as an expression of His image in our humanity.
                                                            ii.      One man with one woman for one lifetime
1.       Heterosexual.  There is something about learning to live in harmony with the “other” that reflects God’s Triune image in us.
2.       
b.      Lifelong Strategic Partnership – “help fit”
                                                              i.      Help (‘ezer)
                                                            ii.      Fit – “At the same level,” “able to see eye to eye.”
c.       One flesh relationship
                                                              i.      She came from him, is made of the same stuff – Even if your spouse seems to you as if she or he came from another planet, they didn’t.
                                                            ii.      Sex
                                                          iii.      Procreation (children)

2)    Divorce Defined
a.      Amputation
                                                              i.      A friend asked me to encourage her to end her marriage.  I told her it would not end her pain, merely replace one pain with another.
                                                            ii.      Another friend’s cancer and colostomy – mutilation, nearly killed, still recovering – though he will likely return to normal life, he will retain the memories and the scars
                                                          iii.      Is divorce a good thing, or a bad thing?  Is it to be taken lightly?  I think it’s a lot like my friend’s surgery, a painful mutilation that is only justified when the alternative is far worse.
                                                          iv.      Those of us who have been divorced (and I include our children here) will live with the scars of that amputation, though we may well find a healthy way to live going forward.
b.      Breaking
                                                              i.      Covenant
                                                            ii.      Partnership
                                                          iii.      One flesh relationship

3)    Other alternatives
a.      Living together (Divorced – “I’m not going through that again.”)
                                                              i.      No covenant
                                                            ii.      Tenuous partnership: Why aren’t you getting married?  Because one of you wants to be able to bail when the going gets tough.
                                                          iii.      Tenuous one flesh
b.      Serial partners / hook ups
                                                              i.      No covenant
                                                            ii.      No partnership
                                                          iii.      Trivialized one flesh: You’re using each other
c.       Chaste singleness – THE acceptable alternative to marriage
                                                              i.      Not easy.  Most of us are hardwired to want relationship with the opposite sex.
                                                            ii.      Doesn’t mean NO relationships with the opposite sex, merely APPROPRIATE relationships.
                                                          iii.      Seek a wide range of deep friendships with men and women, couples and singles.

4)    Is there a way back / forward?
a.      ALWAYS!
b.      First, if you are in a good or even an OK marriage, do everything you can to keep it sweet.
c.       If your marriage is failing, or has failed, the biblical prescription for failure is the same – REPENTANCE AND FAITH
                                                              i.      In a troubled marriage, repentance means looking at YOUR OWN contribution to the marriage’s problems, while faith means you make the changes IN YOU that you need to make, by the grace of God.
1.       Get help.  If your spouse won’t go to counseling, then go yourself.
2.      CPC offers a number of small groups.  Take advantage of them.
d.      If you’ve been divorced,
                                                              i.      Understanding our part in the failure of our marriage and seeking God’s forgiveness and healing.
                                                            ii.      What part?  I was married to an ax murderer!  Then you had a broken picker.  You also probably learned some unhealthy responses in the middle of trying to make that relationship work.
                                                          iii.      Faith – Commitment to seeking God’s wholeness and healing, by God’s grace
1.       Spouse – Paul’s dictum, “Insofar as possible, be at peace with all men.”
2.      Children – Though you may have broken the covenant, your children will ALWAYS be your children.  You have an obligation to them to MITIGATE the harm done to them by the divorce.
3.      THERE IS HELP IN THIS CHURCH! Pastor Pat can refer you to Christian counselors.  And CPC offers a number of small groups.  NO CHRISTIAN SHOULD WALK ALONE!
e.      What if I’m living one of the “other alternatives?”
                                                              i.      Living together – Determine whether you should move forward to a marriage relationship, or backward, out of the live in relationship.
                                                            ii.      Serial partners – STOP IT!
                                                          iii.      Chaste singleness

CONCLUSION

Marriage is designed by God as a key part of how we reflect His image.  One man and one woman commit their lives to each other before God, promising to be each other’s ally through thick and thin, to the point where they become “one flesh,” both in the character of their relationship, in the sex act itself, and through the children they raise to honor God.  There is something in the way a healthy couple interacts that reflects just a little piece of heaven!
For this reason, we are called as Christians to do everything in our power to preserve and strengthen our marriages.  Though God allows us to divorce when our marriage fails, divorce is nothing less than an amputation, a ripping apart of the one flesh relationship.  Though healing is possible, it will leave scars in all involved.
I believe God allows us to remarry following divorce.  However, I cannot recommend strongly enough that each of us who has been divorced repent of our own contribution to our divorce and learn new ways of interacting BEFORE we seek to enter another relationship.
What about the other alternatives to the biblical view of marriage?  I believe the only acceptable alternative to marriage is chaste singleness, meaning we are in appropriate brotherly and sisterly relationships – “Friends without benefits,” not “friends with benefits.”  The remaining alternatives, though they reduce risk by reducing our level of commitment to the “relationship,” also trivialize the relationship itself, making it far less than what God intended.